Waar zitten jouw kansen met Life Planning?

Waar zitten de kansen?

Waar zitten de kansen?

Onrust

Je hebt het voor elkaar. Een goede carrière, voldoende geld, een mooi huis en – eindelijk – het gevoel van zekerheid. Heb je alles? Of mis je wat je het allerliefste zou willen hebben, doen of voelen? Als je tijd voor jezelf neemt, kom je misschien tot de ontdekking dat je een boek wil schrijven. Of eindelijk je eigen bedrijf starten. Of die enige echte liefde vinden. Opnieuw naar school en alles anders doen…..

Je bent niet de enige

Je herkent het vast wel…je zit ontspannen met vrienden op het terras te genieten van een wijntje en de omgeving en het gesprek mondt alweer uit in: “als ik dit….., dan zou ik dat……maarja…..”. Je vertelt en hoort altijd dezelfde excuses en belemmeringen. En niemand komt in actie. Geen verandering. Is dit wat je echt wilt? Nee? Dan is actie gewenst.

Moed

Eigenlijk is de vraag: heb jij de moed om afscheid te nemen van het bekende en de (schijnbare) zekerheid en de hengel eens uit te gooien aan de andere kant van de boot? En te kiezen voor een (uitdagende) doch onbekende vangst? Wellicht is het antwoord: “Ja, dat doe ik gewoon!” Wellicht is het antwoord: “Nee, ik doe het niet. De risico’s zijn te groot!”. Welke keuze je maakt, maakt niet uit. Beiden zijn goed. Als je af wilt van je onrust, dan is het handig definitief te kiezen en je aan die keuze vast te houden. Anders blijf je op het terras met je vrienden oneindig praten over; “ik zou graag…., als ik jonger was dan….etc…”. Wat doe je je vrienden en familie eigenlijk aan? Kies of stop met dromen (en klagen) over hoe je leven er eigenlijk uit zou moeten zien. Trouwens, je doet jezelf een groot plezier als je kiest. Kiezen voor behoud van de huidige situatie geeft ook rust, toch?

Als je echt niet weet wat je wilt en je hebt het gevoel hierin “vast” te zitten, dan helpt jouw Life Planner je graag bij het bewustwordingsproces en het maken van jouw levensplan. Je kunt ook jezelf alvast even trickeren door jezelf de volgende vragen te stellen:

1. Leef ik misschien het leven van iemand anders? Of naar de definitie van succes van anderen?

2. Ben ik bereid mijn hele leven af te blijven vragen: “Wat als….?”

3. Ben ik bereid om bij alles wat ik doe te denken: “Eigenlijk wil ik dit niet”.

4. Kan ik met de onrust omgaan omdat er kennelijk iets nog niet klopt?

5. Laat ik mij verslaan door angst? Kan ik dat van mijzelf accepteren?

Of…..ben je bereid om met hele kleine veranderingen, stap-voor-stap, dat leven te creëren zoals jij dat zelf wil? De essentie van Life Planning.

En? Ga jij deze vragen beantwoorden? Zorg dat je rust hebt op dat moment zodat je in staat bent om niet alleen de letters te lezen maar om ook je gevoelens toe te laten. Wat voel je? Hoe spreekt je hart? In je hart weet je wel wat je wilt……

Hier zitten jouw kansen!

Veranderen wordt door velen ervaren alsof je iets in de steek laat, iets achterlaat. Dat je risico’s neemt ten opzichte van zekerheid, een gelukkig huwelijk of een super carrière. Dit is de minst mooie benadering, toch?

Je kunt ook anders kijken naar veranderingen.

Veranderen is het benutten van kansen. Het gebruiken van de vrijheid die het leven je biedt. Beeld je eens in hoe je toekomst er dan uitziet. Wat maak je? Wat doe je? Voor wie ben je van grote betekenis? Hoe besteed jij je kostbare tijd? En met wie? Als je je hierin inleeft…..is het kiezen om dingen in je leven te veranderen het dan waard? Ik weet zeker van wel! Ook jij kan dit! Alleen of met hulp van een van onze Life Planners. Wat zij voor jou kunnen betekenen zie je in deze promofilm.

Ik wens je heel veel succes bij het hengelen!

Couples in retirement

10487224_10152243321953581_2445902147605333521_nBy HARRIET EDLESON  

Great New York Times article about LifePlanning with RLP® Reed Fraasa

LIKE many couples, Patrick Thaller and his wife, Kathi, had different ideas about their life in retirement.

She had always wanted a second home, but he wasn’t sure about it. She didn’t want to sell their family home in Bergen County, N.J., where they had lived with their four children for 30 years. He wasn’t convinced that they could afford two places.

While they both preferred a coastal locale, they were torn about whether that should be the Jersey Shore; Myrtle Beach, S.C.; the west or east coast of Florida; or even Aruba, one of Mrs. Thaller’s suggestions.

And then there was the timetable.

“I’ve been thinking about retiring for three to four years,” said Mr. Thaller, who turns 70 in October and spent 45 years as a banker, most recently at Columbia Bank. “It took seven years to make that decision,” he said, “six years of going to Florida every winter for a couple of weeks.”

Mrs. Thaller said, “I don’t think he was ever really ready to say, ‘O.K., I’m ready to retire.’ ”

Figuring out when and where to retire can be a conundrum for anyone, but especially so for couples. Whether they have been married for almost 50 years — in the case of the Thallers — or living together for 20, like Lucy Hedrick and George Handley of Old Greenwich, Conn., and Sarasota, Fla., life partners or husbands and wives don’t always have the same ideas about retirement. When they have different timetables or preferences, one may have to wait for the other, or one may even retire and relocate for part of the year before the other is ready.

After you have spent years living one way, deciding on a new lifestyle requires research, getting to know your spouse or partner better and being willing to compromise.

Experts say decisions about when and where to retire can be difficult. “It’s no one thing,” said Reed C. Fraasa, a certified financial planner and registered life planner in Riverdale, N.J., “but time and place are always two big elements. It’s rarely a black-and-white single issue.”

George Kinder, a life planner and co-author of “Life Planning for You: How to Design & Deliver the Life of Your Dreams,” said sometimes when couples disagreed about when and where to retire, the issue was really something deeper.

“Something else is going on,” he said. It’s “a failure of intimacy. Put everything on the table, not just the place. Explore the richness of these questions. There is a lot more than where. The place — location — is almost always more superficial than the other issues.”

Couples often need to reconnect and explore what is important to each spouse or partner as they face retirement. “The place issue becomes much more secondary and easy to navigate,” Mr. Kinder said.

What needed to happen in retirement, he said, was for couples to “fall in love again. It’s not just about where they want to go but what they want to do.”

Robert Stammers, the director of investor education for the CFA Institute, an association of investment professionals, agrees. Figuring out when and where to retire requires some soul-searching along with research. “It’s a very introspective process,” Mr. Stammers said. “You really have to think through all these things. Really understand what your goals are. Many say, ‘I’ll think about that when I get there.’ ”

But experts recommend planning ahead. Ask yourself, “What is my retirement going to look like?” Mr. Stammers said. “Are you going to travel, sit in one place, downsize? How much is it going to cost you to live in your retirement?”

Envisioning what you really want can ease the transition to retirement. “The goals drive everything else,” he said.

For the Thallers, who have been married for 47 years, entertaining, gardening, travel and spending time with their children and grandchildren are priorities. “I don’t like being away from my kids too long,” said Mrs. Thaller, 68, who was a stay-at-home mother. It was important to her to keep their family home and to find a second home that would be within easy reach for their four children, their spouses and their eight grandchildren.

After 10 years of searching and considering places in Florida like Marco Island, Amelia Island and Vero Beach, they “stumbled on” a new community in Bradenton. “It looks like the kind of life we like,” Mr. Thaller said.

Though Mr. Thaller plays golf, being a mile from the beach was more important than proximity to a golf course. “We’re beach people, not golf people,” he said. His wife preferred swimming in Anna Maria Sound over the Atlantic, and it would be warmer in the winter in Bradenton than in Amelia Island, farther north. So Bradenton it was.

Though Mrs. Thaller was ready for her husband to retire sooner, she was patient. “What good is it if your husband’s not happy?” she said. Rather than saying, “I want to do this now,” she waited. “We’re happy about the decision, both of us,” she said. “He had to make sure everything was right. He doesn’t like to rush through anything.” He officially retires in November, and their three-bedroom condominium is expected to be ready in December. “It’s a house for us,” she said. “It’s a house for everybody.” They plan to keep their home in New Jersey.

For other couples, a different kind of compromise solves their problem.

In Ms. Hedrick’s case, moving to Sarasota, Fla., for part of the year while her partner, Mr. Handley, stays behind and continues to work as the business administrator at the First Congregational Church in Old Greenwich, Conn., is a way to keep both people happy. “He was becoming more and more aware of my unhappiness in the winter,” Ms. Hedrick said. He visits her once a month for a week or two. “We will always come north for the summer,” she said. “I didn’t run away to Sarasota.”

In January 2008, Ms. Hedrick, 67, an author, headed to Sarasota for four months and has gradually begun to live there from approximately October to May. At first, she rented, but she expects to complete the purchase of a home this month. It was a “careful and calculated decision,” she said. “It’s been an evolution.” Both Ms. Hedrick and Mr. Handley, 79, are divorced, and they have been together for 20 years. “George and I are still making up our lives,” she said.

If you are thinking of retiring, here are some guidelines from experts:

Research different areas, then rent a place in each of them for two weeks or more to get to know the place better and make sure you both like it.

If you have children or grandchildren, consider how they will be involved in your decision. Do you want to be near them, or will you go back and forth to visit them?

Think about whether you want (and can afford) a second home. Will you keep your original home at first and sell it later?

If you haven’t spoken to your partner in detail about how and where you want to spend the last part of your life, do it now. “Spouses are not always in alignment,” Mr. Fraasa said. “We call it the art of financial planning, the art side, getting people to a place where they feel comfortable. What are the emotional elements that are going to be part of it?”

artikel geplaatst in The New York Times By HARRIET EDLESON http://nyti.ms/1m1r8r4